Member-only story
You can Meet Others’ Needs, But You Need to First Meet Your Own
As I move closer toward a life that is authentic to me, I’ve learned that I cannot place other people’s needs before my own. And you shouldn’t either.
As a recovering people-pleaser, I’m learning the importance of having my needs met so I can be the best version of myself. It’s been difficult to navigate since my worth has been placed in what others thought about me. I grew up believing that the less space I took up, the better. So I forgo asking for what I needed and wanted.
Now that I’m an adult, I can make different decisions. I can meet my needs, and satisfy my wants. But I still struggle. I struggle with the guilt that comes from even thinking about what I want. I shouldn’t want new clothes because I already have plenty. I shouldn’t want to do my nails because it’s not the best way to spend money. I shouldn’t want to get my hair cut by a professional and instead go to a family member because I don’t need it.
What I suffer from is a scarcity mindset. The belief that there’s not enough for me because there’s a limited amount and I shouldn’t be greedy. After all, greed is one of the seven deadly sins. Wanting too much for yourself is not good, you’re not good if you do.
