I can relate to that. I lived through a similar rejection growing up with my parents. Their behavior made me believe that I wasn't lovable. If my own parents didn't care about me, why would anyone else? But fortunately I learned to understand it wasn't me, it was my parents who were emotionally immature and didn't know how to tend to a child's emotional needs. Sounds to me like your wife is similar in this way. She doesn't know how to meet your emotional needs. But remember it's not you who's unlovable or has a problem. You are lovable, unfortuntaley the person you chose to marry doesn't know how to satisfy your need for love and affection. You can undo your conditioning.