How I Stopped Letting the Scale Determine My Worth

Yes, this is about weight, health and the expectations that women face on a daily basis in order to be considered beautiful by society’s standards.

I’ve always been concerned about my exterior, the way I look and how others respond to it. Am I attractive? Am I pretty? Am I skinny enough? Does my hair look good today? Am I having a good skin day? Have I gained any weight recently? I used to ask myself these questions all the time.

At just 11 years old I started noticing and taking into account people’s comment’s about my looks and size. My mom had been given this workout CD and I distinctively remember working out and dancing along side the instructor who by society’s standards was considered beautiful. I remember in the video she wore red pants, a white tank top; her hair was done half up half down and her make up was very natural looking. And of course she had a perfect hourglass figure. That woman haunted me for years with her ‘perfect’ size and body.

Fast forward to when I was about 13 years old, I was in middle school and I remember walking down the hall with my class when a friend of mine tapped my shoulder. I don’t remember how the conversation begun but I remember so vividly the moment she told me I was gaining weight, and was starting to not look so good. I felt as if I had been stabbed with a knife…